Why There Is A Need To Build Better Homes

First, there is a need to build better homes because the home is of divine origin. Marriage was instituted by God in the beginning. "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh" (Genesis 2:24). Jesus placed his approval on marriage by participating in a wedding feast in Cana of Galilee (John 2:1-11) and by emphasizing God's original marriage law (Matthew 19:1-9). Marriage is a fundamental principle of God's social order (Matthew 19:5). It is superior to parental ties. (Matthew l9:6). The Hebrew writer said: "Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge" (Hebrews 13:4).

Second, there is a need to build better homes in order to combat all efforts to destroy the home. They say: "The bourgeois claptrap about the family and education, about the hallowed co-relation of parent and child. . . The burgeois family will vanish as a matter of course when its complement (prostitution) vanishes, and both will vanish with the vanishing of capital." "Communists envision the time when there will be neither capital nor family. They tie together individual freedom, the right of free enterprise, marriage and the family as we know them, as they are guaranteed by our Constitution, and throw them into the same trash can. . . The breakup of the family-the degradation of marriage-is central to the Communist theory" (Thomas Warren).

Third, we need to build better homes in order to combat all the efforts in this country, whether deliberate or undeliberate, to destroy the home. Too many people no longer believe they have to obey God. "The Bible is a back-number" is the cry of multitudes. Divorce can be obtained with ease with some fifty-three or more reasons now allowed. Modern corruptions such as "free-love," "companionate marriage," and "common~law_marriage" threaten the purity of the marriage vows. The lowering of the standards of sexual morality with people being urged to "accept the idea that there is no such thing as right and wrong."

Fourth, we need to build better homes because the destiny of our nation is being decided in her homes. It is estimated that the average child will spend, between birth and twenty one, ninety two thousand hours in the home; thus as the home goes, so goes the nation. An ancient proverb holds: "If there is righteousness within the individual there will be happiness within the home; if there be happiness within the home there will be harmony in the nation; if there be harmony in the nation t~iere will be peace in the world." A civilization is sound as the homes that make up that civilization are sound; and a civilization is weak when the homes that make up that civilization. are weak. "The stability of our social order depends upon the basic institution of the home, and the stability of the home depends upon the moral and spiritual integrity of the husband and the wife" (Carl Spain). The degradation of the relationship between the sexes brought God's destruction on Sodom and Gomorrah (Genesis 19). Breakdown of marriage and the home was a leading factor in the destruction of ancient Rome.

Fifth, we need to build better homes because of the tremendous consequences for the individuals who are involved. "People who marry will, in that marriage gain a little taste of heaven or a little taste of hell. Marriage can either degrade or elevate every person who is involved in it. It will either tend to integrate one's personality and help him to be the kind of person he should be, or else it will tend to disintegrate his personality" (Thomas Warren). "The highest happiness on earth is in marriage. Every man who is happily married is a successful man even if he has failed in everything else. And every man whose marriage is a failure is not a successful man even if he has succeeded in everything else" (William Lyon Phelps). The atmosphere (love or hate) in which children grow up will determine their personalities. What happens in the home, good or bad, will also vitally affect the lives of parents, friends, and other family members.

How To Build Better Homes

First, a better home will be built when husband and wife provide compaionshio for each other. "And the Lord God said, It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him" (Genesis 2:18). Most every man needs a wife to love and needs to be loved by his wife. She supplies that which is lacking in him, allows him to express himself, know himself, and to develop himself. Many husbands spend considerable time away from home because there is nothing to come home to, and many wives dread the end of the day when their husbands do come home. How wonderful, on the other hand, when husbands and wives look forward to and treasure every minute of the time they spend together.

Second, a better home will be built when a husband and wife wllllngly and freely fulfill their sexual obligations to each other. "Nevertheless to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency" (1 Corinthians 7:2-5). Sex in marriage as the ultimate expression of a man's love for his wife and a wife's expression of love to her husband, is pure, holy, and pleasing to God. Husbands and wives do not have the right to withhold themselves from each other. They both need to learn the sexual needs of their companion and do their best to fulfill those needs. A husband and wife, who would not think of using a literal club to punish one another will often punish one another by withholding their bodies. Sexual ignorance, or unwillingness to fulfill sexual responsibility, constitutes one of the leading causes of home problems. Lack of fulfillment in this area is a leading contributing factor to emotional instability in other areas.

Third, a better home will be built when the husband loves his wife as Christ loved the church. "Husbands love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it. . . So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hateth his own flesh; but nourisheth. and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church. . Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself. . ." (Ephesians 5:25, 28, 29, 33a). Christ loved the church so sacrifically and completely that he gave his life for her; so ought a man to love his wife. Christ loved, and loves, the church even when she is unloveable; so ought a man to love his wife. When a man and woman marry they become one flesh (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5, 6), therefore, the man who hates his wife hates his own flesh. The man who loves his wife will dwell with her "according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered" (1 Peter 3:7). Most men love themselves, but how many men love their wives as themselves? Think what a home can be, and will be, with such love!

Fourth, a better home will be built when the husband is truly the head of his home. "For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body" (Ephesians 5:23). As head of the church, Christ guides and directs the church in the way that is best, and to the end that she may be saved eternally (Ephesians 1:22, 23). A husband will truly be head of his wife in the same way and with the same attitude. An often heard cry from many wives is, "But my husband won't take the lead," or "My husband won't make decisions." Many husbands want to be head of their house, and complain bitterly if they feel they are challenged, but do not want to accept the responsibilities that go with that headship. Many husbands force their wives to assume roles that they do not want, that God never intended them to have, and that results in friction in the home. A better home will be built when the husband is head of the house. It is easy for a wife to submit to a husband that loves her as Christ loved the church, and that is head over her as Christ is head over the church.

Fifth, a better home will be built when the father in the home does not provoke his children to wrath, but brings them up in "the nurture and admonition of the Lord" (Ephesians 6:4). In too many homes today the mother has almost total responsibility in the training and disciplining of the children. Father, you have the responsibility to train (teach and show) your children how to make a living and how to serve God (Proverbs 22:6). Do not get too busy to take time with your children. They need and want your attention while they are young. They crave every precious moment they can be with you. But if you do not give it to them now, the day will come when you will want their attention, but they will be too busy. One of the crying needs of today's home is for fathers to spend more time (quality time) with their children. Preachers can sometimes get so busy saving other people that they lose their own family in the process. Noah, according to many people's standard, was very unsuccessful, but he saved his family from the flood (1 Peter 3:20). Better homes will be built when fathers once again assume the role that God gave them.

Sixth, a better home will be built when the wife submits to her husband. "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. . . Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything . . . and the wife see that she reverence her husband" (Ephesians 5:22, 24, 33b). A Christian woman who expects to win her unbelieving husband to Christ must "be in subjection" to her "own husband" (1 Peter 3:1). The world is pleading with women to liberate themselves, throw off all restraints, and free yourselves from the oversight of your husbands. Your husband may not be the easiest person to submit to, but do it "as unto the Lord." Remember, you are not doing it just to please your husband, but you are doing it because this is what the Lord wants, and because it is the best arrangement, or else God would not have given it. Trouble always arises in the home when a woman, or man, tries to change God's order. Husbands, remember, it will be easier for your wife to submit to you if she knows that you love her, and that you are truly trying to be the kind of head that God wants you to be.

Seventh, a better home will be built when the woman in that home resolves to become a better homemaker. "The aged women . . . teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children. To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed" (Titus 2:3a, 4, 5). "I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give no occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully" (1 Timothy 5:14). "She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her" (Proverbs 31:27, 28). Wife, mother, you are not "just a housewife" if you are trying to make your home the kind of home God wants it to be. You may be successful in community affairs, the PTA, the school activities, etc., but if you are not good homemaker you are a failure in God's eyes. You are a a queen in your own house when you fulfill first those responsibilities involved in being a good mother and a good homemaker. Your home will be a great place to live, and "thou excelleth them all" (Proverbs 31 :29b).

Eighth, a better home will be built when children obey their parents "Children obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right" Ephesians 6:1). In this present age when there are so many forces trying to remove the need of obedience to parents, this admonition was never more needed. In too many homes the parents obey the children, instead of the children obeying the parents. Tension and strife always prevail when this happens God has always emphasized the importance of obedient children. Under the law of Moses a stubborn and rebellious son was stoned to death. (Deuteronomy 21:18-23). "Disobedient to parents" is placed between "inventors of evil things" and "without understanding" in one of the blackest catalogue of sins found in the Bible (Romans 1:30, 31). "Disobedient to parents" is placed between "blasphemers" and "unthankful" in Paul's second letter to Timothy (2 Timothy 3:2). Obedient children help build a strong and happy home in the Lord.

Many books have been written about building better homes, Much advice has been given by the "experts." But no better plan has yet been found to build better homes, than God's plan.

FOOTNOTES